I am that mom

I am that mom.

I am the mom that people assume happens to someone they don’t know.

I am that mom that people are often uncomfortable to talk to.

I am the mom that others assume they will never be.

I am that mom that always wonders how you answer the “how many children do you have” question.

I am the mom that people look at wondering how they continue to live life. 

I am that mom.

I am a preemie loss mom. 

Many people I know have experienced a loss.

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance day. It’s is a day I didn’t even know existed until almost seven years ago. I never thought I would be a loss mom. I thought it happened to other people – people I don’t know. 

It seems that I know more and more people, whether in real life or virtually, who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. It almost seems to be a weekly occurrence that I find out about someone who has experience a loss. 

I once had someone not want to tell me about their miscarriage shortly after we lost our son because they were afraid it wasn’t as important as our preemie loss (we lost one of our 24 weeks twins 23 days after birth). 

A loss is a loss. It is the loss of life. It doesn’t matter if your child lived in the womb for one day or on earth for one day or one year. Pregnancy and infant loss is the loss of hopes and dreams. It is the loss of a child that is wanted. It is the loss of a child that is loved. It is the loss of a part of a mom and dad. It is the loss of family.

We can’t be afraid to talk about loss – whether a miscarriage, preemie loss, or infant loss. In fact, we need to talk about it. We need to know our feelings are valid and real. We need to know we aren’t alone. We need to know we are supported and loved.

Today, on Pregnancy and Infant Remembrance Day, we remember all of the beautiful lives that have gone before us. We remember all of the moms and dads who grieve for the child they lost.