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Parent Support for Loss of a Premature Infant

Meet Keri, Preemie Parent Mentor

Our micropreemie twins were born at 24 weeks in April 2015. Piper and Charlie blessed us with their presence for only a few minutes, but our two angels changed our lives forever. I had an incompetent cervix that wasn’t closely monitored, and I gave birth knowing that they would pass away. Losing a child is an indescribable journey of love and survival. My fondest memories of this experience was my husband – my rock, soulmate, and best friend – carrying me through this tragedy with unconditional love and support. Family is the most important thing when dealing with devastating times, and I remember my family being by my side throughout my entire journey – even to this day.

After our twins passed away, we chose not to hold our babies or take pictures or keep any memorabilia. I also shut off my phone – my husband communicated to the outside world (except close family) for me for nearly two months. It sounds horribly morbid, but that was my way of coping. It was all too much for me. My own personal memory of our twin girls will last forever, and I have a vision of beautiful angels to help me get out of bed every morning. I don’t regret my actions because at the time it was my natural way of grieving. Looking back, if I had known there was a support system with people who’d been in a similar situation – or could relate to my feelings – I might have reached out and been more willing to open up.

Everyone has a different journey and story, but sometimes you need an ear to listen and a heart to understand what you’re going through. Anger, fear, envy, guilt, sadness… These are all natural ways to cope with the loss of a child. There’s no right or wrong way. Grieving is a process, time will heal your wounds and acceptance will come. God and faith played a vital role in that time of my life – they still do – but turning to a higher being enables you to become mindful and grateful for life and your story.

Parent Support for Loss of a Premature Infant

Having to say goodbye to a preemie far too soon is a tragedy that no parent should ever have to face, but sadly loss is a part of the prematurity journey, too. Nothing can ever ease the pain of losing a child but even so, many organizations, websites, and groups exist to help moms and dads cope.