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Parent Support for Loss of a Premature Infant

Meet Ivy, Preemie Parent Mentor

Before losing Clara Kate, we dealt with severe IVH, heart defects, and NEC. I remember my heavy feelings of guilt: guilt that I had to leave my one-year-old alone so often to visit the NICU… guilt when I was away from the NICU… guilt that my body had failed my preemie somehow (which is totally untrue). I remember feeling stuck in this awful land of uncertainty where all I wanted was just a little bit of certainty about anything! But I also remember receiving love and support that was greater than anything I could have imagined before.

Every NICU parent should know that there is an abundance of love and support to be found if you know where to look and you’re not afraid to ask. EVERYONE needs support! Be assured that there is no right or wrong way to endure the NICU journey. All emotions are acceptable and valid. Someday you will feel normal again. One day. You may not be able to envision it now, but it will happen.

I want to honor my Clara Kate by sharing the love and support that I received in my journey with others who are coping with loss. It is what carried me through the toughest times and continues to lift me up even now. I want parents to know that their baby is not forgotten. I can be one more person who will speak their baby’s name and remember them as a human being and a life as valuable as any other.

Losing a Premature Baby

Having to say goodbye to a preemie far too soon is a tragedy that no parent should ever have to face, but sadly loss is a part of the prematurity journey, too. Nothing can ever ease the pain of losing a child but even so, many organizations, websites, and groups exist to help moms and dads cope.